- Are you lonely even though there are people around you?
- Is it hard for you to ask for what you need?
- Do you work so hard during the day that by the time you get home there is nothing left for you to give to the people you love?
- Do you feel like your partner doesn’t understand you?
I will help. In our sessions, we talk about hopes and expectations. In relationships, everybody has hopes and dreams, but we don’t always talk about them. That leads to disappointment that your partner doesn’t understand or doesn’t see coming. It is a trap I see way too often. The good news is you can avoid it.
We’ll talk about language. Sometimes men and women use the same words and mean totally different things. Because our meanings are different, it’s hard to communicate clearly. I can help with that too.
Now I’m going to tell you something you I bet you NEVER hear.
You ARE NOT going to overcome all your anxiety, and you ARE NOT going to resolve all your relationship issues. We will separate the issues into those that are solvable and those that are not solvable and then we work on learning how to live with unresolvable circumstances.
When the focus is on strengthening the relationship, issues can be dealt with in much more clear and productive ways. Issues change, the relationship will always be there.
Here is what you can expect. You’ll get tools to stay engaged in your relationship as your connection becomes deeper. As you build good connections, there are ALWAYS temporary disconnections, so an occasional misstep isn’t as scary. In fact, it’s a natural part of getting and keeping intimacy.
So, do your problems get resolved? Hell no, they don’t get resolved. Just as one issue clears up, another one comes along, like whack-a-mole. BUT, your relational skills get better with practice, and your trust in each other is deeper each time.
As your expectations become more realistic, you learn to love the REAL person you are with and honor what they can really give, not what you hope or wish for. Authenticity is a gift for everyone involved. I give you my authentic presence in the therapy office. It isn’t always pretty, and you may not always like it, but what you see is what you get.
One reason I have a private practice to be my own boss. Every decision about my business is mine. My Grandfathers each came from poverty and made successful solo real estate businesses. My Dad also was a successful solopreneur builder and investor. No one pushed me into doing solo business, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
This is my second career. I am a trained musician and actor. I am an internationally awarded spoken word artist. I love writing, but I don’t perform much because of my commitment to my work. I love rock music, and you will probably hear it coming out of my office.
So NOW you are curious, right? Do these two things:
Read the section on Relational Cultural Therapy. It’s my philosophy.
Then:
Call me to set up a free 15-minute consultation.
(781) 372-REL8 (I did that myself, rel8 relate get it?) (781) 372-7358
My name is Randy Markey. I believe in your capacity to change and grow. I’ve been doing this work since 1998. Leave me a message and I will get back to you within a business day. If we decide to work together, things will get different. I look forward to talking with you.